Friday, August 8, 2014

Friendship Fives

I'm feeling a bit somber today as I write my Five for Friday. I realized this week that a friend wasn't exactly who I thought, and it really hurt. I don't want to be hurt, but it's the shock of it all. You know that punched in the gut feeling? I've got a bit of that and can't seem to shake it. No matter how many scoops of ice cream I try to tap down on top...

Lately I've been thinking a bit about friendship in general. My best friend lives in Australia. Most of my other friends live closer than that, but not exactly in the same city... or even state actually. And while I may not always have a friend nearby to go to the movies or Home Goods with, I am blessed with some truly amazing people in my life. My mom always told me that "you only need one" when it comes to friendship, and I'm grateful that I've learned quality over quantity.

So... in honor of all the great friendships I have had over the years... and in hopes of cheering myself up a bit... here are five qualities I value in a good friend, represented by some of those who have always been there for me.

They accept you for who you are. 
My friend Amanda and I have very little in common besides the fact that we've known each other forever.  Most everyone has those people in their lives, but I lived in 4 different states by the time I was 14, so keeping in touch was no easy feat. Even though we always have been and always will be entirely different people, we never try to change each other. It's that acceptance that keeps our friendship strong.

You can talk (and laugh) about anything. 
Well, I obviously think she's hilarious. This is my best friend, Jess, who sadly lives just about as far away from me as she possibly could. But we find odd hours to call each other, or she'll facebook chat me in the middle of her night when I'm just getting to work, and the conversation goes on and on and on until real life gets in the way again. We can (and pretty much do) tell each other everything - no judgment - and call each other on our bull crap. It takes a true friend to tell you you're being a prima donna, and I'm lucky I have her to bring my back down to earth.

No matter how much time has passed, you can slip right back into each other's lives.
This is my friend Jess (left) and our friend Brittany (right); we were all roommates the summer after freshman year. Brittany is completely great in her own right, but Jess and I just connect. Maybe it's the fact that though we'd known each other all of five minutes before I got the summer flu, she brought me a bucket to puke in and held back my hair. Clearly, she's a saint and that kind of experience just bonds people, you know? Months can go by where we don't talk, but then we catch each other on the phone and spill it all and it's like we never stopped. No matter what's going on with us or where we're at, we just get each other.

You don't try to impress each other.

Never have I had a friend that has taught me this more than Amy. We are who we are, warts and all, and we completely adore each other. We don't have to be doing a dang thing and we can be in complete bliss. She has seen me at absolute rock bottom and still wants to be my friend, so I pretty much think she's amazing. I'm telling you, friends like her come around once in a lifetime.

You uplift and support each other.
Can you tell she makes me really happy? She is always there to cheer me on and tell me that I'm a much better person than I actually am. Jess has taught me a lot about loving someone enough to work to keep them in your life, and she makes every effort worth it. She has gone through a lot, and she still has enough left to lend me a comforting ear and put me back on the right track. 

Wow - this post was really cathartic! Looking at all the amazing friends I have, those represented here and not, I realize why quantity over quality has always been my take on friendship. I wouldn't trade a single one of these girls for anything in the world.

Are you lucky enough to have friends in your life that truly love and uplift you? What makes a good friend to you?

Linking up with Karli and Amy!


  1. this is a great post & great reminder. all of my closest friends live over five hours away..which makes having girl time a bit challenging. i also have been hurt by some of the girl friends i've made in the city i live in now...and it's hard! so know that you aren't alone..and thanks for the reminder of quality over quantity :)

    1. Thank you, Megan! It's crazy how making friends is still a challenge when we're all "adults."

  2. Awe sending you ::hugs:: I've threatened my bestest friend that she's never allowed to move away. I couldn't imagine. But keep up with each other, send care packages, skype, email, text, and countdown the days till you can have a girl's night out!

  3. Awe, sorry we couldn't meet up when I was in DC Meghan!! I feel really guilty. I didn't have much free time since I had to travel a lot to see my mom who I haven't seen in 18+ years. I will be back though, to visit!! Hope you are well. And I agree, quality is always better in friends.

  4. Sorry you had a rough week! My best friend lives in another state too (although not as far as Australia) and it's tough only seeing each other a couple times per year so I feel ya! Your post is a great reminder of what is truly important in friendship! *hugs*


    1. Thanks, Paige! It only makes sense that as we get older the people we are closest to may follow their own path and that may take them far away from us, but it is seriously no fun, huh? Jealous that your best friend is, oh, in the same hemisphere.

  5. What a great post! I love all the qualities that you pointed out and it is so true - quality over quantity. I have always believed that as well. I'm sorry you have had a bum week. I hope it gets better.


    1. Thanks, Jess - I appreciate it! All the warm wishes and a nice weekend have seemed to do the trick. :)


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