Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Waiting For Life to Happen

When I was a teenager, all I did was wait. Wait for school to be over, wait for the years to pass by, wait in a sleepy, little Utah town, wait for my escape. College and the world thereafter was the shiny trophy at the end of this long wait, and I bided my time with my eyes continually on the prize.

Eventually, that waiting was over.  I moved (a whole 30 minutes) away for college, but it was enough of an escape for me. From there, I could just glimpse a future ahead of me, sure to be far different than what I had seen up to that point. New people and new experiences were everywhere, and I woke up for the first time in years.

Jump ahead a marriage and a cross-country move, and the world has expanded around me. D.C. is a far cry from the laid back, relaxed atmosphere of my various homes out west. The energy (or anxiety) of this city is fast-paced, motivated. This drive has led me to encounter places and situations that a shy, skinny 18-year-old never could have dreamed of. I have loved every minute, the good and the bad, for better or worse. Through this period in my life, I have grown so much faster and further than at any other time. And now I’m looking for that next step. The problem is, for once in my life, I’m not certain what that is.

You go to school, K-12, then you graduate. For me, college was always bound to come next. We moved to D.C. for an internship to finish my degree, and had both wanted to live here together, so we naturally stayed on. Now… my roadmap ends. I have vague ideas of what we want in the future – a house, kids, a career, an MBA for Layne – but how and where and when are mere fragments of a plan at this point, and some of the answers to those questions we have no control over.

I have to admit, we do have some of the details more solidly worked out than I am alluding, but I can’t help but focus on the unknown rather than the known. My life has come full circle and is once again a waiting game. But this time, I’m not looking for an escape. Just my path forward.

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