When I was a teenager, all I did was wait. Wait for school
to be over, wait for the years to pass by, wait in a sleepy, little Utah town,
wait for my escape. College and the world thereafter was the shiny trophy at
the end of this long wait, and I bided my time with my eyes continually on the
prize.
Eventually, that waiting was over. I moved (a whole 30 minutes) away for
college, but it was enough of an escape for me. From there, I could just
glimpse a future ahead of me, sure to be far different than what I had seen up
to that point. New people and new experiences were everywhere, and I woke up
for the first time in years.
Jump ahead a marriage and a cross-country move, and the
world has expanded around me. D.C. is a far cry from the laid back, relaxed
atmosphere of my various homes out west. The energy (or anxiety) of this city
is fast-paced, motivated. This drive has led me to encounter places and
situations that a shy, skinny 18-year-old never could have dreamed of. I have
loved every minute, the good and the bad, for better or worse. Through this
period in my life, I have grown so much faster and further than at any other
time. And now I’m looking for that next step. The problem is, for once in my
life, I’m not certain what that is.
You go to school, K-12, then you graduate. For me, college
was always bound to come next. We moved to D.C. for an internship to finish my
degree, and had both wanted to live here together, so we naturally stayed on.
Now… my roadmap ends. I have vague ideas of what we want in the future – a
house, kids, a career, an MBA for Layne – but how and where and when are mere
fragments of a plan at this point, and some of the answers to those questions
we have no control over.
I have to admit, we do have some of the details more solidly
worked out than I am alluding, but I can’t help but focus on the unknown rather
than the known. My life has come full circle and is once again a waiting game.
But this time, I’m not looking for an escape. Just my path forward.