Monday, December 5, 2011

The Honeymoon Stage (and other such nonsense) Part II

Now, don't get me wrong. Being married is AWESOME. It's maybe just not quite as good as the falling in love part in that heady, romantic, sweep you off your feet sort of way. It has ups and downs, but it takes a bit more to get it up. That's all.

...But not like that!


Anyway, what I really meant was that immediately upon returning from a most excellent Mini Moon, we (obviously) began living together. And at times, this proved quite a challenge. It's just that I can be a little bit of an uptight and controlling neat freak. And Layne is a little more um... Normal. So it took a little while for him to adopt my ways as his own.

We suddenly realized that we may not be as absolutely compatible in every way as we had thought during our dating days. He was going to insist on a full birthday week, threaten me if I ever ate a clementine, and stay up later than me on an almost nightly basis. I was going to insist on sitting right beside him and adoring him at all times. (I quickly learned that not everyone loves this, though I'm still not sure I understand why...)

I have to admit that over a year later, we're still working out a lot of these kinks. But we've learned a lot. In fact, I think it's time for a quick list of:

5 Things I Learned My First Year of Marriage*
  1. Communication really is key - listening and sharing is the only way to bring sanity to a home.
  2. Some things are better left unsaid - if it could hurt the person you care about and it's not hurting you, then learn to get over it.
  3. Don't get offended - if you trust that you care about each other, you can avoid a lot of fighting.
  4. It's ok to go to bed mad -  and people who tell you otherwise are full of it. Sometimes you need time to distance yourself and cool off.
  5. Family is family - and you're stuck with his and he with yours, so learn to play nice.

*I initially titled it as a Top 5 list, but thought I would look back on it with regrets if I prioritized my lessons learned.

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