Celebrating 4 Years

Last Thursday was our 4 year anniversary. It's kind of a weird feeling, like it has gone by so incredibly fast but simultaneously I cannot even remember life before Layne (though I know it really must have sucked.) I talked a bit about how four years has changed me (in all the right ways) yesterday.

The traditional 4th anniversary gift is either fruit or flowers, but for the modern day it's appliances. So, we went with a waffle maker. Yay! I have had waffles every day since (except for when I went to brunch with my mother-in-law). So, we slept in, made waffles, and watched a few episodes of MasterChef. That is an ideal morning in this household.

P.S. We picked up this Williams Sonoma Bellegem Waffle Mix. I only used it the first day, because it was surprisingly sweet. We'd recommend it for a dessert waffle, but I've been using this scratch recipe ever since. It's fine, but I'm going to keep looking for one with butter instead of oil. (yum, butter... right?) Recommendations welcome!

In the afternoon, we went to see "No Good Deed." Our anniversary kind of kicks off fall for us, and I loooooooove scary movies and make Layne watch as many as I can straight through Thanksgiving. It was good, but not quite as suspenseful as I had hoped. Have you seen it yet?

Dinner, as a special treat to my carnivorous husband, was Fogo de Chao. We've tried a few Brazilian steakhouses. The meat has been the best at Fogo de Chao, but the salad bar (at least for this location) was easily the worst. We also really missed the pineapple and vegetables they give you at Tucanos.

The night ended with Georgetown Cupcakes and a Criminal Minds marathon, our show of the moment. (Dr. Spencer Reid is my second love.) 

All in all, it was a perfect day full of 100 moments that reminded me why I love this guy so much.

One Date was all it Took

Layne called to ask me out on our first date. I think he said something like, "Hey, I'm sorry it took me so long to call. I know that you must have had you phone by your side day and night just waiting to hear from me." Unaccustomed as I was to humor at that point (thanks again to my ex who I think never once told a joke I found amusing), I responded with complete silence. Layne pressed on, and asked me if I would like to go out with him that weekend, and I agreed.

When our first date dawned, I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. I had gone to the temple earlier that day, and while that usually makes any day pretty great, that day I locked my keys in my car. I shivered in the dwindling light of a late February afternoon, waiting for my dad to drive down so I could use his AAA card, my wet hair trickling down my neck and making the day even colder. By the time he arrived and I was back in my car, all I could think about was getting warm. I rushed into my apartment and barely had time to slip into my warmest, and unfortuately for Layne, largest, and most unflattering sweater before there was a knock on my door.

Layne swaggered in with all the confidence he had displayed the first time we met. Upon spying my roommate free for the night, he invited her along for a friend of his and our double date became a triple. We all piled into the car, and almost instantly Layne and I were in our own world. I remember that The Postal Service was playing, and we both talked about how "This Place is a Prison" reminds us of the sound of crumpling snow. His stock was slowing rising in my book...

We went to a Thai restaurant called Bangkok Grill, and after a year with a guy who was a routine patron of Applebee's, I was excited for something new. I ordered Pad Thai, while Layne got curry. I have no idea what anyone else got, because I was entirely wrapped up in our conversation, despite the fact that my roommate was right there and her date was not going so swell, and I was also friends with the other couple on the date. Because I know Layne so well now, I guarantee he asked the table their Top 5 Favorite Movies/Books/Bands, etc., his go to questions when he first meets someone. I think we did bands and movies that night, and I must have passed the test.

After dinner, we went to a comedy club where they did improv. I remember laughing just as much at the performers as I did at Layne's little asides to me, and that for some reason they had oversold and we were one chair short, so we kind of squished on to one together and I didn't totally hate having to be so close. At one point my roommate and I were in the bathroom together, and she said to me "You seem to be having a really good time!" I was startled for a second, trying to remember the last time I had had such a good time and been so happy, and then gushed back "I know!"

Later, as Layne was walking me to the door, he casually grabbed my hand and I gently pulled it away. Completely unfazed and undeterred, he simply swung his arm up across my shoulder. Who was this guy?! I didn't know yet, but I was certainly looking forward to figuring it out.

Why We Work

In honor of Valentine's Day (and my "friends" Bonnie and Taylor, both of whom I have been stalking for months), I thought I would join my first ever link up! The topic is "Why We Work." Taylor actually did this a few weeks ago. Or possibly a few months ago - I really have no sense of time. In any case, I thought it was really cute and instantly wanted to copy her and now I have an excuse to.

At my sister's wedding this past summer.

We work because even though 9 times out of 10 I am the most awkward person on the planet, Layne loves me anyway and rarely makes fun of me for being such a weirdy. And when he does make fun of me, he does this little laugh that is almost a giggle that always makes my face split into a grin and I can't even care about how lame I am. We work because he always notices when I make an extra effort to look pretty. We work because he is the funniest man on the face of the planet, and I love to laugh. We work because we fundamentally agree on almost everything, and when we don't, we are both passionate people who fight like we really mean it. And then as the fight subsides, we both rush to be the first to say sorry and restore our usual balance of goofiness and quiet contentment. We work because he encourages me to paint and craft and write and do what makes me happy, and I push him towards his dreams every chance I get.

We work because at the end of every day, when my stomach is fluttering with butterflies and my heart is pounding with how much I love the guy sitting next to me on the couch, he lets me sink into his arms and while away the world.

Join the link up!

It was Kind of, Almost Love at First Sight

Layne and I met four years ago today.

Ah... what bliss.

I was just getting out of a relationship that was horribly and completely wrong for me, a fact I was largely oblivious to at the time. I was so caught up on my ex that when Layne started talking to me, I completely and rudely ignored him.

Admittedly, I was taken aback by the handsome, preppy guy in the Cougar Eat whose first words to me were "Hey, you're attractive." But having been recently heartbroken, I was in no rush to start handing out the fractured pieces.

Still, I hung around, talking to mutual friends while Layne's more and more outrageous comments steadily intrigued me as I steadfastly blocked out his every attempt to get to know me. He was not deterred in the least. The confidence on this guy was off the charts! And confidence is reeeeeaaaaallly sexy, no matter how gun shy you might be in the romance department. So when he asked for my number, I doled it out with minute hesitation.

I had no idea what I was getting myself in to.

(Stay tuned for details on our first date...)

I Want to Talk About my Love Life

It's really no fair that people don't celebrate my love life anymore. People are so excited to hear all the details of your budding romance, and your break ups, and all the rest of the drama drama drama of dating when you're out there. But once you're married, that ship has sailed. Which is really unfair, because marriage is an incredibly beautiful thing. Far more beautiful than any screwed up relationship I was ever in.

But still. Nobody wants to listen to me wax romantic about the man I have chosen to share my life with. Why can't people still be super excited that I am in love, like they were when we first got engaged and started dating? I'm still super excited about it!

So this year- too bad! You are getting the whole story. Layne and I met in February 2010, so prepare yourself for the journey as I try to stick as closely as I can to the timeline of our relationship. I am going to relish telling you all about falling in love with him, and I hope you can find some enjoyment in it, too.

I am Thankful

Tomorrow I will be busy feasting on turkey and enjoying my time with family and friends. So today, I wanted to take the time to express some of what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for Layne. I know at some time in my life I must have done things without him, but I swear I can't remember how. I am thankful for his continuous support, patience, and love, and I am grateful that I have found someone who loves me for me. I am thankful for all the ways he challenges me to grow and become a better person and the hundreds of times each day he makes me laugh.

I am thankful for my job. This new job has given me heightened confidence in my abilities and a renewed vigor. I love going to work each day at a place I love and feeling as though I am making a true contribution to the overall mission of the organization. I love being a part of a team.

I am thankful for my home. It may be a tiny 600 sq ft apartment from the mid-century with no A/C, and I can hear my neighbors talk and smell the weird foods they cook, but it's mine. It is safe and it is clean and it is exactly where I want to be when I want to go home.

And I am thankful for my friends and family. The people I talk to and laugh with and enjoy when I need a moment of respite from the rest of the world. Thank you for confiding in me and loving me.



That is my life. It's small and simple, but there's room for everything I need and love. I am thankful for all that I have, and for my happiness.

My Best Advice

Back in September, Layne and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. I honestly can't believe that it has been three years already! I feel like every day I'm just hanging out with my best friend and the weeks, months, and years are just flying by in waves of laughter and really good food.

I guess three years is enough time for people to assume we have the hang of this thing. It's true that I have been sad to see some of my friend's marriages fall away in less time, and while we certainly haven't always had smooth sailing and wedded bliss, we've managed to pull through even the darkest hours. And honestly, we're happier than ever because of it. We're more open with each other and truly understand each other. We take care of each other, and we can do so because we know what the other person needs.

The other day, a newlywed asked me for my best marriage advice. It was the first time someone had deliberately asked me for general advice on a happy marriage, and it took a while for me to articulate my thoughts. I definitely feel that every couple is different and everyone learns something unique to them at different times.

That being said, the biggest lesson Layne and I have learned over our time together is to throw away the expectations for a white picket fence. Accept the other person for who they are right now, today. Not who they have the potential to be someday, or who you want them to be for you. The most you can expect from your significant other is that they continually try their best to love you and you do the same in return. You're a team, and you're both trying your best. Life can be really hard sometimes. Dreaming of a better tomorrow will only get you so far. You have to learn to be happy with your present, and you have to work as a team. Isn't it better to have a shoulder to lean on than to just have someone to point the finger of blame at?

Not to trivialize it, but Layne's first instinct will most likely never be to put his dish in the dishwasher right away. Love him to death, but it's just not his priority. It's mine, because I have major OCD that necessitates a clean house. And Layne knows that, and so he'll try to put his dishes away or at least bring them to the sink from the table.  And it's my job in turn to not flip my lid as I clear dirty dishes from the table day in and day out, potentially year in and year out. I have to trust that he's working on it, and he deserves to trust that I will give him that benefit of the doubt.

This has taught us both so much patience, so much acceptance, and heightened our abilities to forgive. It has allowed us to discuss the things we need to work on without feeling judged or getting defensive, which only leads to fights. Every day I get to focus on the progress we have made as a couple. I feel supported and cared for. And if (when) I mess up and I'm careless and I hurt him, I know that tomorrow we'll start over and he will already have forgiven me and let me try again.

So now I'm curious - how long have you been married, and what's your best advice from what you've learned in that time? If you're not married, what have your past relationships taught you?

That Dude is One Tough Mudder

That's right. I'm talking about that total stud, my husband, Layne Fletcher.

The team - my heroes.

A few months ago, Layne did the Tough Mudder in West Virginia. It was probably the sexiest thing I have ever seen him do. It was 10-12 miles through the hilly countryside, the course slick with mud and strewn with about 20 obstacles to basically just screw you over and wear you out as much as possible. Climbing and swimming through the mud,  crawling on your belly through tubes half-filled with water, scrambling over wooden walls, under barbed wire, through electric shocks, and everyone's favorite challenge - the Arctic Enema. This course is so challenging and shocking to your body, someone actually died on the course the day before Layne competed.

Into the ice bath, the Arctic Enema.

Jumping over fire.

Climbing Everest (Ninja Warrior, anyone?)

Getting electrocuted.

Did I mention that it was about 60 degrees and you basically are wet the whole time from all the mud and water obstacles?

And he did it. All of it. So sexy, right?